An introduction to me for people who know little about me

Ok,my Name is Matt for people who Dont know and im 25 and very nearly 26.Anyway heres about me and the problems that currently are upon me which i very much want to overcome,i guess the first part of this story begins when i was about 18 when i was first diagnosed with depression.To be honest the signs that something wasnt quite right had been there for a few months,I felt a strong feeling of lethargy and just apathy in general.Somebody could of literally came upto me and punched me in the face and i wouldnt of reacted atleast with anger anyway which is what usually would happen if someone did that to me.I just felt empty,theres no other way to describe it really and not long after that i went through a phase of going to my local shops and buying booze and sitting up of a night getting drunk by myself because for a brief period of time i felt happy whilst drunk.My parents and my mum in particular noticed that something wasnt right and i got taken to the doctor where they diagnosed me with clinical depression and i was given anti-depressants.Anyway as time went by I started distancing myself from friends as i felt kinda ashamed of my problems and knew they wouldnt understand!So I basically stopped going out and over time this got worse and worse and i closed myself off from everyone basically.Hardly spoke to my parents either,just stayed in my room doing my own thing.I literally relied on parents to do everything for me like i was a young kid ie pay my bills,shop for me,etc.If I did try and go out I would have severe panic attacks where i thought that i was going to faint,have a heart attack or ultimately die and it felt completely horrible and terrifying.This only added to my feelings of not wanting to leave my house as i felt safe and in my own little bubble i guess.The more i did this though the more i got sucked into it and 7/8 years later here i am!Ive definietly improved somewhat but its a real struggle at times and very easy to just stay like this.However i dont want to wake up one day and be 40 odd and think what the hell have i done with my life and have aload of regrets!In all honesty though ive had problems since i was a kid,i remember when i was in primary school and i had a cleanliness obsession and i would wash my hands till they nearly bled and the school were worried about me and i was sent to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me as having an anxiety disorder,I also had issues surrounding food and i would literally hide food so that i didnt have to eat it!It wasnt anorexia or anything like that though,I had and still do have to an extent a huge phobia of vomiting and somehow i linked eating with throwing up in my mind and thus my irrational brain came to the conclusion that if i didnt eat then i wouldnt be sick!Anyway as you can imagine this caused alot of worry for my parents and family as they were genuinely scared that i would end up starving myself to death.Also another thing that has majorly affected my life and held me back in a big way is the severe lack of confidence i have,Ive always felt that im crap at everything i do and that other people are better than me.Anyway i was always desperate to be liked by people and people saw through this and some people abused it,i had people i thought were my friends taking the piss out of me and even in some cases bullying me.This led to me feeling even worse about myself and the vicious cycle went on and on like that.One example of me being desperate to be liked by people was when i was about 10 I actually stole money off my mum to buy kids in area ice cream,i never bought myself anything with the money it was just another wasted attempt of wanting to feel important.Anyway at this moment in time im doing a combined business/economics degree with the open university and trying to progress with my life somewhat.Its a daily struggle alot of the time though as i struggle with motivation as i dont have anything to do with myself,Quite often i feel like getting a job and i know what would help me get into a routine but the problem is I dont have any qualifications and very little work experience.Its like a vicious cycle at times and it gets me down and id be lying if i hadnt thought of ending my life at times,the thing that stops me though is the thought of my family and the affect it would have on them.Not so much now but in the past i quite often i used to cry myself to sleep at night and feel very hopeless but ive definietly improved somewhat since those days,dont get me wrong every now and again the feeling comes back but its rarer now.Anyway I know this has been an extremely long post but i guess i just wanted to really give a good insight into myself!Thanks alot for reading it and feel free to ask me questions....Thanks matt :)